I like to write. I like people to read what I write. And most of all, I like feedback on what I write. The problem is, I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to writing. And because I like for people to read and comment on my works, I desire it to be just right. Sometimes it will take me days to compose an email, or hours just to re-write a couple of sentences on a resume. Often, I won’t update my Facebook status for weeks because nothing witty is coming to mind, and I don’t want to post something bland. So as you can imagine, writing for me can be a major time suck and a great source of stress. In fact, sometimes I am so put off by the thought of not producing my very best work, that I will not write at all.
When the opportunity arose to give a devotional, I eagerly signed up - a couple weeks in advance though, to be sure to give myself ample time to be creative and to stave off any writers block that might materialize. I began the process of meditation. I read God’s word and asked Him to show me what to contemplate and what words to use. I debated over different topics, messages, and spiritual principles to write about.
After starring at a blank screen for days, God reminded me that my thoughts don’t have to be clearly organized and gracefully written, because His words are perfect.
“Every word of God is flawless, he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.” ~Proverbs 30:5
“For the word of God is living and active.” ~Hebrews 4:12a
God’s word is alive with His spirit and power. No sentences I will ever compose could compare with God’s glory and might. I spent the greater part of two weeks not writing anything, because I couldn’t write something perfect. I was relying on my own words to reveal God’s majesty, when in fact, His word already reveals it.
That was my devotional. I chose some scriptures to express a truth that God made very real in my life. But as it turns out, I am not just a perfectionist. I am also an over-achiever, and God revealed not just one truth to my life through this devotional, but two…
Through my meditation, it seemed that I was preparing my heart and mind to be aligned with God. But, the truth is, my motives were all wrong. I spent a lot of time preparing to write, but not so that God could speak to me and through me, but so that I could “wow” everyone with my mad writing skills. I was trying to make myself look good and God called me on it. Mercifully, God searched my heart and revealed to me my inequities.
I’m not really sure at what point I realized that I was writing to edify myself and not God, but after meditating on that I knew I had to address the issue. The whole purpose of a devotional is turn our focus to God; to worship Him, praise Him, and glorify Him. How could I effectively lead anyone anywhere when I was so wrapped up in myself?
“For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted. ~Luke 18:14b
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” ~Colossians 3:16-17
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” ~1 Corinthians 10:31
As I reflect on this devotional, and the making of it, I am embarrassed by my own arrogance and ashamed of my lack of humility. However, I am also convicted. I believe God can and will use me - a sinner dependent on my own words and caught up in self-recognition - to honor and glorify Him.
Is there anything you are holding on to, that you think you can do better than God? What are you doing for your own glory and edification, that you should be doing for God?
“Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.” ~ Psalm 34:3
Dear God,
May the things I say and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You today. Let Your words - Your good and perfect words - come alive in me and direct my heart to You. You alone I exalt. You alone I give glory and honor.
In Jesus’ name I pray!
