My childhood was pretty uneventful. While I did not grow up in a Christian home, it was a good home. My parents taught me right from wrong and did a good job of keeping drama away from me.
In high school, I didn't have any strong convictions of my own - religious, political, or otherwise - but instead, I let my friends and their beliefs shape my thoughts and opinions. Because of that, I believed what was popular thinking, what was "pc," and what was easy. I boldly proclaimed my opinions, but I could not defend them when asked. I often criticized those with conservative values, and I questioned friends who proclaimed their faith.
It was also in high school that I started really thinking about God. I wasn't sure what I was thinking about, I didn't understand faith, and I didn't feel broken. I just felt a pulling, a feeling that maybe there was something else. Something more.
Romans 1:20 proclaims that we know by instinct that there is a God and Ecclesiastes 3:11 tells us that God is who puts the knowledge of eternity in our hearts.Even with intuition working within me, I did not look for God. I continued to make average choices with my life (I told you - boring) and standing up for things I knew nothing about.
Sometime after high school, Allen (future husband, not a Christian back then, has a far more interesting testimony than me) and I started hanging out with some new friends. They were smart. They were fun. They had beliefs that countered popular culture. They were Christians. The more we hung out with them, the more my thinking changed. But unlike in high school, my beliefs weren't being shaped by convenience or by my friends. They made sense to me. I could defend them. I believed them.
Now here is where my testimony takes a brief turn to the interesting side. Most people who accept Jesus into their heart can tell you exactly (or pretty darn close) when and how it happened. I cannot. I never went forward at an alter call, I didn't stand or raise my hand during a church service, and no one led me in a personal prayer. I do know that it was some time in the two years between the end of high school and my wedding that I made the choice to believe that Jesus died for my sins so that I could live forever. I can say that with certainty because when I graduated I would have laughed if you asked me about Jesus, but when I got married I had no doubt that Jesus was alive in me.
I am a Christian. So what does that mean? I wish it meant that now my life was free from hardship and pain - that I didn't struggle or mess up. But that is not the truth. The truth is I have battled with eating disorders, depression, and jealousy, pride, gossip, and contentment (oh, just to name a few). What is different now is how I think, how I form opinions, and how I act because of what I know. I know God exists because I see His hand in everything around me. I have peace because I know God is in control. I have joy because I am sure of the promises of God. I love life because I know I have a specific purpose in it. And I know that no matter how bad or good things are in this life - here on earth - that there is more.
Looking back now, I can see that it was God who was calling me in high school. He calls all of us. He places the knowledge of Him in our hearts so we are without excuse. We have to make a choice though - a choice to believe that we are sinners in need of a savior - a choice to accept the free gift of salvation. Even though my story is pretty plain - when I invited Jesus into my heart, my life changed forever - and there is nothing boring about that!
"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" (2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT)
