my first devotional

I like to write. I like people to read what I write. And most of all, I like feedback on what I write. The problem is, I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to writing. And because I like for people to read and comment on my works, I desire it to be just right. Sometimes it will take me days to compose an email, or hours just to re-write a couple of sentences on a resume. Often, I won’t update my Facebook status for weeks because nothing witty is coming to mind, and I don’t want to post something bland. So as you can imagine, writing for me can be a major time suck and a great source of stress. In fact, sometimes I am so put off by the thought of not producing my very best work, that I will not write at all.

When the opportunity arose to give a devotional, I eagerly signed up - a couple weeks in advance though, to be sure to give myself ample time to be creative and to stave off any writers block that might materialize. I began the process of meditation. I read God’s word and asked Him to show me what to contemplate and what words to use. I debated over different topics, messages, and spiritual principles to write about.

After starring at a blank screen for days, God reminded me that my thoughts don’t have to be clearly organized and gracefully written, because His words are perfect.

“Every word of God is flawless, he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.” ~Proverbs 30:5

“For the word of God is living and active.” ~Hebrews 4:12a

God’s word is alive with His spirit and power. No sentences I will ever compose could compare with God’s glory and might. I spent the greater part of two weeks not writing anything, because I couldn’t write something perfect. I was relying on my own words to reveal God’s majesty, when in fact, His word already reveals it.

That was my devotional. I chose some scriptures to express a truth that God made very real in my life. But as it turns out, I am not just a perfectionist. I am also an over-achiever, and God revealed not just one truth to my life through this devotional, but two…

Through my meditation, it seemed that I was preparing my heart and mind to be aligned with God. But, the truth is, my motives were all wrong. I spent a lot of time preparing to write, but not so that God could speak to me and through me, but so that I could “wow” everyone with my mad writing skills. I was trying to make myself look good and God called me on it. Mercifully, God searched my heart and revealed to me my inequities.

I’m not really sure at what point I realized that I was writing to edify myself and not God, but after meditating on that I knew I had to address the issue. The whole purpose of a devotional is turn our focus to God; to worship Him, praise Him, and glorify Him. How could I effectively lead anyone anywhere when I was so wrapped up in myself?

“For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted. ~Luke 18:14b

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” ~Colossians 3:16-17

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” ~1 Corinthians 10:31

As I reflect on this devotional, and the making of it, I am embarrassed by my own arrogance and ashamed of my lack of humility. However, I am also convicted. I believe God can and will use me - a sinner dependent on my own words and caught up in self-recognition - to honor and glorify Him.

Is there anything you are holding on to, that you think you can do better than God? What are you doing for your own glory and edification, that you should be doing for God?

“Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.” ~ Psalm 34:3


Dear God,

May the things I say and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You today. Let Your words - Your good and perfect words - come alive in me and direct my heart to You. You alone I exalt. You alone I give glory and honor.

In Jesus’ name I pray!

recipe challenge

A friend of mine, Summer, recently entered a recipe contest. I printed her recipe, made a shopping list, and baked it a few days ago. These are my thoughts about it...

Apple Bundt Cake with Cream Cheese Filling and Caramel Pecan Glaze

Do NOT try to say that 3 times fast! While a very descriptive name, it is a mouthful to say. Maybe I would have named it "Summer's AWESOME Apple Cake," or "Yummy Deliciousness with Apples." Though, as I write them, I realize that saying them 3 times fast is equally as cumbersome - perhaps I should just stick to the script; say it once with enthusiasm!

I was happy that the recipe called for ingredients that I keep on hand, for the most part. I wanted to follow Summer's instructions exactly, so I decided to shop for butter, instead of using margarine, which is what I normally bake with. (Only because that is what my mom has always baked with.) Here's the thing about butter; there are MANY different kinds. If you do not normally bake with butter, then apparently the next course of action is to stand in the dairy section of the grocery store for about 5 minutes, deliberating whether you should buy sweet cream, salted, unsalted, salted sweet cream, unsalted sweet cream.... I decided on sweet cream - hope that is right Summer!

The instructions were very easy to follow. Though, I did have to ask my mom how to "zest" a lemon - but only because I have never done it before. I normally skip that part in a recipe, but like I said before, I wanted to follow Summer's recipe exactly. I couldn't find the bundt pan, so I used two bread loaf pans. There were quite a few steps involved, and it dirtied a lot of dishes, but the cakes turned out great and cooked in the amount of time stated.

I was anxious to taste the cake, so I started the caramel glaze a little soon. The cakes were not completely cooled when I removed them from the pans, so they were a little messy - totally my fault for failing to exercise patience! The caramel glaze amazed me and my husband. I remember as I was preparing my shopping list thinking that I must have missed the caramel for the caramel glaze. So, I re-read the recipe and saw that there was no ingredient called for. Hmmm...I never really put much thought in to how caramel was made - this must be it. I told my husband about this and let him taste the glaze before I put it on the cake. He tasted it, then tasted it again. "Wow! That IS caramel!" he said, like he was surprised that I could make a caramel glaze without using caramel, or a caramel sauce, or a caramel seasoning or something. (I have to admit, I was super surprised and delighted too!) The glaze seemed a little runny after letting it sit just 5 minutes, so I let is sit for an additional 10.

I finished up the cake with the glaze and chopped pecans. I also took a picture of it to show Summer. I felt very Food Network-ish as I plated the cake and drizzled the caramel. I didn't like how it looked at first. I tried to make a fancy design like Summer, but ended up just pouring a puddle of glaze on it. I then placed pecans strategically on the cake and plate - what a dork! But, I wanted to make Summer proud.

So, after the picture was taken, we ate it. It was delicious! I would have liked to taste the apples a little more - I think I may have overcooked them in the first step. It was moist and sweet, but not too sweet , and the pecans added just the right texture and crunch. As my husband devoured it he kept complimenting me on it. Normally, I would say "thank you" and feel quite proud. But with this creation, it didn't seem right to take the credit. After all, I just followed the recipe.

Apple Bundt Cake with Cream Cheese Filling and Caramel Pecan Glaze

Photo By: jerseyhousewife

I love apples. I love cream cheese. I love caramel. I love cake. What could be better than cream cheesy apple cake with caramel glaze?

Serves 8 - 10

Cake with cream cheese filling:

• 2 large apples, peeled and diced
• 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
• 1 tablespoon cinnamon
• 1/2 cup butter, softened + 2 tablespoons (divided)
• 2 cups flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup sugar, + 1/2 cup (divided)
• 3 eggs + 1 egg (for filling)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1/4 cup milk
• 8 ounces cream cheese
• Zest of one lemon

Caramel glaze:

• 4 tablespoons butter
• 1/2 cup brown sugar (packed)
• 1 pinch salt
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 1/2 cup chopped pecans (optional)

1. Melt two tablespoons of butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add diced apples, nutmeg and cinnamon. Cook until apples are soft, about 3 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool.
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees (f) and prepare a Bundt pan with butter and flour.
3. Sift together flour, baking powder and salt. In a separate bowl, cream together one-half cup of butter with the sugar. Add three eggs, one at a time and beat well. Mix in vanilla and milk. Combine with dry ingredients. Fold in cooked apples.
4. In a separate bowl, combine cream cheese, one egg, 1/2 cup sugar and the zest of one lemon. Mix until smooth in texture.
5. Pour half the cake batter into prepared Bundt pan. Spoon cream cheese filling evenly over batter and then cover with remaining half of the batter. Bake for 50 - 55 minutes, or until cake is done. You can test doneness by pressing lightly on the cake to see if it springs back. Cool completely.
6. Prepare caramel glaze with pecans. Melt butter in a medium saucepan over medium-low heat. Add brown sugar and cook, stirring until sugar is melted completely. Add salt and cream and continue cooking and stirring for 2 minutes. Let cool for 5 minutes. Remove cake from pan and spoon glaze evenly over cake. Sprinkle chopped pecans over top.

Comments(1)

suburbanhousewife 1 day ago

Delicious! I do not have a bundt pan (how can that be, right?) so I used 2 bread loaf pans - it may not have looked as pretty, but my husband did not mind one bit! Pecans added the perfect airy crunch to this fall dessert.

http://food52.com/recipes/773_apple_bundt_cake_with_cream_cheese_filling_and_caramel_pecan_glaze

bonus coffee

Our coffee pot, like most, makes only a certain amount of coffee with each brew. It is the same amount everyday, every week, month to month. With the coffee drinkers in our house and the size of our cups, that can be broken down into a simple coffee equation: 1 brewed pot = 2 cups for my mom + 2 cups for my dad + 2 cups for me. There are times, however, when there are variables in the coffee equation. For instance, on the weekend, my husband, will have a cup and there will be a shortage of caffeinated goodness. On the other hand, there is the occasion when there is a surplus of coffee. Such as when my mom has to get to work early, so she only drinks one cup; or the days when my dad is sick, and doesn't grace the kitchen to pour his second cup. Those are the days that make my caffeine veins smile, because those are the days when I get "bonus coffee."

We have the type of coffee maker that doesn't use a carafe. It has an enclosed brewing system, and you must hold your cup up to a lever that then dispenses one cup at a time. The water mark is broken that tells you how much coffee is left in the pot, so you never know if your cup will fill with dark deliciousness, or be victim to the last drips left in the hidden carafe. Knowing this, and knowing that on occasion there is a surplus of coffee, everyday - even if I have already had my two cups of coffee - I hold my cup up to the lever, hoping (and today, praying) for "bonus coffee."

I am active in the leadership team of our Community Bible Study. It is my first year serving as a group leader, and today I went to leaders council and was given all the information that I need to lead my group on Thursday. I was feeling a little whelmed at the task ahead of me, so I gathered my materials, my phone, and my coffee cup. I held my cup up to the pot and hoped for some "bonus coffee" to get me through my phone calls and studying. Wahoo! Bonus coffee! Thank you Lord!

I drank my coffee and finished my phone calls. Next, I had to time out my lesson and prepare an opening statement. Boy, I sure could use some more coffee...but I already got bonus coffee...I wonder... So I headed off to the kitchen, coffee cup in hand...

I have also been doing another bible study, entitled Believing God by Beth Moore. Its premise is that so many times we believe in who God is, but we don't believe in what He can do. There are so many things that we dismiss or do not turn over to God because we don't think He can change circumstances or hearts, we don’t believe His promises, and we don’t believe His strength. God raised the dead - could anything require more strength than that? Yet, I often find myself timid to believe that He will work a miracle in my life. Which is crazy, I know, because I totally believe that God is who He says He is, and can do what He says He can do. But, I can see from my prayer life that I am not claiming the power of God. I have been praying for my dad to make some changes to improve his health and well-being, but I have doubts that it will happen. I have been praying for my mom to know Jesus, but I have accepted that she might not... what on earth am I thinking, right? So, already in the first week of this study, I have made the commitment to believe that God not only can, but that He will.

...So I enter the kitchen and get butterflies in my stomach. My prayer goes like this: "God, I know you can do all things. I know You can raise the dead, You can change hearts, and You most certainly can make sure there is coffee in the coffee pot. I know that I have already had "bonus coffee" today, but You fed thousands with a couple fish and a few loaves of bread, so I believe You will do this, too. Above all, I desire Your will, and even if You don't let brown gold flow into my cup, I still believe in You and my eternal salvation. Amen."

Well, God is great, and He showed me today that His majesty is not dependent on my level of belief. I started crying as my coffee cup filled - joyful tears of reverence, love, and abundance.

little rascal

The kids are back in school! The kids are back in school! Abby has entered 2nd grade with little ado. With the same kids, same teacher, same classroom, it was a pretty easy transition for her, and for me for that matter. I feel much more at ease this year with the school, philosophy, and culture of a Waldorf education.

Gage, on the other hand, is not quite as comfortable with his new routine as his older sister. First of all, the kindergarteners prepare their snack at school as part of their curriculum. Gage is a very picky eater and I am anticipating a ravenous little boy by the time I pick him up from school for lunch. After the first day of school, upon asking Gage what he thought he replied, "School is pretty cool. But I DO NOT like snack time. It would have been better if it was bananas and CHIPS instead of bananas and 'branola!'" He is still complaining about having to eat "branola" every Wednesday.

The second day of school was a little better. They each had to take a vegetable to make soup. He got to cut up his cucumber from our garden, but when the eating time came, he only ate the broth. He also informed me that "you will still grow big and strong if you don't eat vegetables, just not as fast!" Hmmm, interesting theory.

I ask him everyday, "Did you make any friends?" He replies "Yeah," and proceeds to tell me all about how him and "Little Rascal" were playing tag in the park, and how he wrestled "Little Rascal" into the mud, and that "Little Rascal" doesn't like "branola" either. So I ask him, "Who is 'Little Rascal?'"
"Oh, he's my friend."
"Well, what's his name?"
"I don't know, so I just call him 'Little Rascal.'"
"Oh, what does he call you?"
"Gage."
"Why does he call you that if you call him 'Little Rascal?'"
"Uh, becasue I said, 'My name is Gage.'"
"Okay. So, why don't you ask him his name?"
"Do I have to? He doesn't mind me calling him 'Little Rascal.'"
"I think it would be nice."

So, the next day when I picked Gage up from school, he tells me, "Justin. His name is Justin."
"Oh really? That's great! Justin, is that Dezi's little brother?" I ask him. (Dezi is a girl in Abby's class.)
"I dunno," he replies while shrugging his shoulders.
"Well, ask him tomorrow if Dezi is his big sister."
Annoyed, and obviously put out he replies, "Ugh! First you want me to ask him his name; and now you want me to ask him if he's Dezi's little brother?"

Man, that boy cracks me up.

career plans

Abby is already talking about her plans for when she graduates high school. She wants to graduate 2 years early and enter culinary school to become a pastry chef. Her new found love is cooking and the Food Network on tv. Her favorite shows include "Next Food Network Star," "Food Network Challenge," and "Chopped." This week the kids were in the backyard playing "Chopped" with playdough. I overheard Chef Abby commenting on the round, "I feel confident. I was able to prepare my entree with all the ingredients in a flavorful and original way. I think Gage did well, too. He had an interesting use for the arugula. Sissy had trouble getting hers plated in time, but she did really good in the last round..."

Gage wants to be a "jogger" when he grows up (the boy loves to run). He announced this in the van just this week. Abby started making fun of him and told him that he could not make any money being a "jogger." I quickly corrected her and explained that he could earn prize money or make money through endorsements. "Well, he won't make much money," she sneered.
"I want to be a jogger and do what Daddy does. That way I'll be rich!"
"What?" Abby asks. "We're not rich."
"Yeah, I want to be a jogger and do what Daddy does so I can be rich!"
"Gage! You will not be rich doing what Daddy does! Daddy is not rich!" Abby exclaimed emphatically, obviously trying to get across the point that we were, in fact, not financially rich because of Allen's employment.
But, Gage replied quickly, and just as emphatically, "Helllloooo! I know Daddy's not rich, that's because he's not a jogger!"

journal entry

This blog entry is just a place for me to record some of my thoughts. I don't have a great story to share, and it won't be funny. This one is mostly for me today...

I need to get out of the house. I am feeling claustrophobic and that is making me anxious and making it hard for me to breathe (more figuratively than literally). I am starting to focus on me and my problems (which are so very little), instead of others and the LORD. My kids are going stir crazy, whining, fighting, and driving me bonkers. Plus, I am trying to scale back their tv and video game time - which is contributing to the chaos since they are way better behaved when they are sitting comatose in front of the television.

I am looking forward to CBS this year. It should be a great study of 1 & 2 Kings and the minor prophets (which I know next to nothing about, so YAY!) Getting back to CBS will be so great for three reasons. First, since I am helping with leadership, I will be serving others. Second, the study will be great and I will be back in the word. And third, I will have a weekly excuse to leave the house and meet with amazing women.

I am so ready for school to start. Gage will be in Kindergarten this year and I really think he will enjoy school so much. I am excited about their school this year too. Last year I was apprehensive and much of my prayer time involved the decision of where to send the kids for school. Since last year went so well for Abby, and I know so much more now about the Waldorf style, I am comfortable and at ease with my decision.

My dad's health is worsening. Everyday he is using his inhaler multiple times, and he hasn't left the house in weeks. He tried to go to the kids T-ball game with me this week, but couldn't make it to the van. I get annoyed with him that he is not taking better care of himself, when he leaves his coffee on the table and the baby gets it, and when he lies to me about smoking. And then, I feel guilty for being annoyed, since he is my dad and I cannot imagine living the life he is. I cannot comprehend what it is like to not be able to breathe, to feel like I am suffocating. So I just try to buck up and deal with it, but it's hard.

I miss my friends in Bend. I was just thinking last night about the irony of the situation. Before we ever moved to Bend, Allen and I talked and prayed often about finding our "best couple friends." You know - the friends that you could call on a whim and meet up with, or that you didn't feel like you had to clean your house before they came over, or that you could feed leftovers to off of a paper plate - those kind of friends. Well, when we moved to Bend, we found them. Then we moved back to Medford, and now we're praying for those friends again.

We are in a time of transition and it is hard for me not to have a concrete plan. Luckily, I am adapting to never knowing what will happen next, because that is my reality and has been ever since I've known Allen. I DO know that GOD is sufficient and He has a plan for me. If I rely on that and turn my thoughts toward Heaven, then I will make it through this period of chaos and uncertainty, and GOD will be glorified!

confessions of a suburban housewife

Sometimes I wish I could go to a real job to have a break from my kids.

Sometimes I don't wipe the baby's nose because the crusted over boogers are the only things keeping the snot at bay.

While I do not want my kids to be in diapers forever, sometimes diapers are easier than potty-training.

Soup from the frozen foods aisle in the supermarket tastes as good, if not better, than soup made laboriously at home - I buy all my soup at Cash & Carry now.

In the summer, I let pool time replace bath time.

I watch my kids sleep, and occasionally lay beside them and cry because they are so beautiful, and I am so unworthy of their presence.

the grasshopper hunter

After seeing A Bug's Life countless times, I do not know how the concept of flying grasshoppers eluded me...however, it is now FOREVER engraved in my head after tonights battle with what can only be fairly described as an "extremely small bat"...


I was sitting on the couch watching Chopped on Food Network (which is, by the way, Abby and my's new favorite channel) when I heard a ruckus outside. I thought it might be a cat or a raccoon, maybe just a little bird; but it would not stop making a commotion and was distracting me from the avocado-honey dessert that was being prepared on tv. So, I sent Allen out to investigate...


He didn't see anything, so he made some hissing noises and ran around the back patio to scare off any creature that might be lurking. As he came back inside, a moth followed him in. It was all crazy - flying around, dive bombing his head, and smacking itself off the ceiling. We were convinced that was the disturbance we were hearing outside - that is until the real ruckus appeared...


A huge creature flew in to our bedroom and Allen started swatting at it. I screamed and jumped up on the couch, trying to shoo the moth out and stay away from the new menace. Allen yelled at me that it was on my back, so I jumped down and started flailing my arms wildly and shaking my body around. It finally took flight again and landed on the bed. "What is that?" I screamed, seriously thinking it was a bat, or some mutant bug. "It's a grasshopper," Allen replied as he positioned himself behind our bed to fling the grasshopper outside with my phone.


The next couple minutes are a big blur. I remember running from one side of the room to the other to escape the flight plan of the crazed flying beast; Allen morphing from super-stealth-grasshopper-hunter to crazed-banshee-warrior and back again; and the moth providing comedy relief as it bounced off the ceiling, into the fan, and flung across the room. Suddenly, silence. I stood in the middle of the room, looking around for signs of the bat-like critter. Perhaps we won. Was he outside, finally? Dead perhaps? Or was he just sitting in wait, resting, planning his next leap of horror? In a split second our questions were answered - the grasshopper took flight and was headed straight for me - I panicked, screamed, and turned to run from the room - but, instead of making a clean get away, I ran straight into our closed bedroom door.

More laughing, more shrieking, more Allen the Grasshopper Hunter, and eventually we shooed the grasshopper and the moth outside. So, back to my original thought...why was I so convinced that Allen was wrong, and that this bug was NO grasshopper? Hmmmm....I don't know, but I do have a new respect for Flick, Princess Atta, and all the ants who stood up to the grasshoppers in A Bug's Life.

funny stuff - car related

So, Allen went to Bend for the weekend. He is staying at the Mackey's (Muna is in Cali with the boys), and they are doing some work and playing. He called me Friday night about when he should have been rolling into Bend - yeah, he was calling to tell me he was broke down outside of Chemult...

After several calls to our insurance company - to try to use the roadside assistance we never knew we had, and to avoid being taken to a shop in Chemult that only does body work - he finally got a tow to Bend. He had his car towed to a mechanic that Chris suggested that he "thought" would be open on Saturdays. You can probably see where this is going. Saturday morning, Allen called the shop to schedule maintenance, and the shop-y no open-y on Saturday-y. Here's the thing - my husband always tries to do things the right way...sometimes to his own demise. He put his keys in the drop box. I'm going to repeat that in case the funniness was lost in translation... HE PUT HIS KEYS IN THE DROP BOX. So now, he cannot have his car towed to another shop that is open on Saturdays to have his car worked on. Nor can he go pop the hood and take a look himself - now that there is daylight and he has access to his mechanic friend and mechanical-ish father-in law via phone. Hmmm....

So, now he has to wait until Monday morning to call the shop where his car is dropped. Hopefully it will be a quick and inexpensive fix. He gets to extend his trip and fun with his friend - yay - but has an important conference call on Monday, and his phone is dying and he took no charger with him - sounds about right.

I'm blogging about it because it is a funny story. And we (well, mostly Allen) have a history with car unluckiness...



One time while in Portland, in the middle of July, Allen's CRX (awesome, I know - I can sense your jealousy) was overheating so bad, we had to turn off the AC and drive around with the heat on. It was about 95 degrees out, we were lost, and we were stuck in freeway rush hour traffic.

Allen had a rattling in his car for a while. One day, a motor mount broke, dropped the motor, and snapped the axle.

He had a funky clunky (girl speak) happen - shut off the motor immediately, collected his thoughts, turned the car back on to investigate the problem - exploding his motor.

Before a weekend road trip, Allen decided he needed to change his oil before we left. He didn't get off work until 9pm that night, but we wanted to get on the road, so he proceeded to do the oil change under the lighted carport at my parents house. Even under a lighted carport, it's still dark, and the sealing ring on the oil filter came off during installation unbeknownst to Allen. When he started the car, 5 quarts of oil dumped all over my parents driveway. It was about 11pm at this point, and we had no idea what to do...so I went inside and woke my dad up, and he calmly came out, showed us how to clean it with laundry soap, and staggered back to bed. We left for our trip Saturday morning.

Oh man, this next one is funny. I guess it was sorta my fault. I had been driving my dad's truck, and while adjusting the rear view mirror, it fell off. Then I was riding in Allen's car and when he ran in the store to buy a soda, I took the opportunity to check my face in his rear view mirror, it fell off (the mirror, not my face). So this is where the story starts. He now has no rear view mirror. He also has no side mirrors because the passenger side one is non-existent, and the driver side one is broke (awesome CRX). Knowing the law, and not wanting to get into trouble, Allen decided he needed to fix his mirror right away, before he drove home that night. Well, it was Sunday, and most stores were closed, so he could not buy the proper adhesive, so he bought some super glue at the minute market, and proceded to try to fix the mirror. He didn't know (in all fairness, neither did I) that the mirror had a little button that you are supposed to remove to glue it to the window, so he put glue on the mirror and then tried to hold it in place while it dried. As you can imagine, it was too heavy, and never adhered. By this point my dad came out to help and informed Allen of the button. Well, he had already spent many minutes and swear words with this project and the super glue adhered the button to the mirror. So, he had to drive with no working mirrors until the next day. After work he purchased a new mirror, complete with proper adhesive, and proceeded to fix the issue. He took care to remove the button, place it on his window, and then came inside to eat dinner with us while he let it cure. After dinner he went out to attach the mirror to the button - hmmm, something was wrong - he could not get the mirror back on the button. Many swear words latter, he realized he had put the button on upside down. Upon discovering this, he was able to attach the mirror - upside down and totally ineffective and useless. A HUGE swear word later, he decided to try and remove the button. So with the mirror attached, he braced his feet on his dash, grabbed a hold of the mirror, and pulled...SMASH! Shattered the windshield. Lesson learned from this story - Joah is NOT allowed to touch rear view mirrors...told you it was my fault.

In all fairness, Allen isn't the only one who has had bad car luck. Once, I was driving my Samurai, and all 4 of my tires shredded at the same time. It also rolled though the parking lot at the mall, jumped a curb, flew off an embankment, and hit a tree. In a similar story, my Blazer rolled out of our driveway, down the street, and hit the neighbors Semi truck that was parked on the street (don't worry, his vehicle wasn't damaged).

I wrote all these down because they are FUNNY. Well, Allen probably doesn't think so, but he might someday. And, well, you just can't take yourself too seriously....funny.

great weekend

What a great weekend we had. Allen and Gage headed for "Fish Camp" on Friday for a boys only camping trip. They had a great time canoeing, shooting "bones and arrows," bike riding on a trail (a first for Gage), and drinking lots of hot chocolate. Allen also warned me to never, ever again send him into the woods, with a bunch of men, and a flowered pillow (I guess our sheet set isn't very manly).

The girls and I stayed home with Grammi and Poppi. Friday night was pretty uneventful, mom and I went on a walk after we put the littles in bed. Saturday though, was full of adventure. I went and bought 3/4 minus rocks and soil for our planter boxes. Then Grammi took Marissa on an errand, so while the baby was taking a nap, Abby and I unloaded all the rocks, and soil into the sheep troughs. Then we planted carrots and cantaloupes in them. Next, we made hills in the pumpkin patch area, and then, planted the pumpkin plants that we had started in the kitchen window.

After the farming in the morning, we spent the afternoon swimming. Abby loves the water and is getting so good at diving. Marissa likes the water, but not so much swimming. And Rachel got a new pool floaty, so she got to enjoy her big sister pushing her around the pool. For dinner we had La Burrita (my favorite), and then we headed to Wendy's for their new coffee-toffee-twisted-frosty (whew, that's a mouthful!).


That evening Uncle Butch and his girlfriend, Suzette, showed up in town. That was fun for my mom, I think. The kids loved having new people around to entertain. Suzette was very nice and interested in the kids. She helped them brush their hair and teeth, and let them sit in her lap, soaking wet, after swimming. She sent Abby inside to get a comb so she could help her brush her hair, and as Abby passed me she whispered, "I like our new maid."

Sunday, after Allen and Gage got home, we cleaned the kids all up, and spent the day swimming again. I also took my van to the car wash and had it detailed - a gift I was planning on giving Allen for Father's Day - I thought he would think it was a gift for him since he didn't have to do it...but he informed me that was a lame gift, and that I should go get it detailed AND get him a Father's Day gift. Whatever.

We had barbequed hamburgers outside for dinner. It was very nice sitting in the yard, gnawing on watermelon, watching the kids swim, again. We had to quickly retreat to the indoors when a crazy thunderstorm struck the valley. It rained so hard - harder than I can remember it raining in a very long time. The gutters were overflowing and sheets of water were falling off the roof. The fire pit we built on Saturday was completely under water. Gage was freaking out about his pumpkin plants..."don't worry little boys, Daddy is right here," he was yelling at them out the window.

After we put the kids in bed, while it was still storming, Allen and I stuck to our commitment, and did Yoga X. I really like yoga, even though it is very tough. I struggle through the first 45 minutes, so I can get to the last 45. The "happy baby" pose is my favorite. It really makes me feel like a happy baby.

It was just a really great weekend...hanging with family, enjoying the outdoors, loving my life and where I live...it was the kind of happiness and joy that comes from within, that money cannot buy, that is given as a pure and sacred gift from God. Thank you Almighty Father.

beauty and the beast play

I took Abby and Marissa to see Beauty and the Beast at the high school this week. We met up with Elizabeth, Leslie and their daughters...it was a "girls night" out. Abby was excited and wanted to wear a yellow dress - to match Belle. Since she didn't have one, she settled for her yellow china outfit. Not wanting to miss an opportunity to show off my cute kids, I dressed Marissa in her matching outfit.

The play was great, and followed the movie very closely. Abby was sure that the girl who was playing Belle on stage was the same girl who played the voice of Belle in the movie. (I must admit, she sounded a lot like the original Belle.) It was fun to take the girls to live theater - and even with all the singing (which bores me after a while), they stayed pretty interested.

The Beast was very real (like the movie, scary) looking. Marissa was a little scared at first. She sat up in her chair and grabbed a hold of my hand. It was so precious, and I want to remember it's sweetness forever (that's why I'm blogging about it. Can't rely on my memory to do the trick!). I had to bribe her a couple times with mints to keep her from talking during the show. And, since the show didn't start until her bedtime (7pm), she fell asleep in the last fifteen minutes while sitting in my lap. After it was over, during the standing ovation, she climbed up into her chair and curled up into a little ball and went back to sleep!

Abby was very intrigued with the rose in the glass display case. It was very true to the story, and petals were falling off of it as the story progressed. Abby was also excited when Belle came out at the end with her beautiful, yellow ball gown on. She sat up tall in her chair, and declared, "See, that's why I wore this yellow china suit...so I would match Belle."

We finished up "girls night" with dessert at Applebee's. The girls were so good and I truly enjoyed the whole evening. My "odds" are cute and I love them.

my happy mother's day

What a great day today was. I got to sleep in - well, kind of. Allen got up to get the crying baby (after I elbowed him to wake him up), but didn't turn off his alarm, so it went off while he was gone - turning it off was a whole process in itself, since I have to crawl across the bed, stand up, and then push every button, since I didn't have my glasses on and couldn't see what I was doing. I finally got back to sleep a little, then Allen started making noise as he riffled through my purse looking for my keys. The kids kept coming in to leave their presents and cards on my dresser, and Gage kept tackling Marissa - she would scream and he would yell, "Mommy is trying to sleep in!"

I also got breakfast in bed...COFFEE! (This explains the keys search mission.) Allen took the kids down to the drive-thru coffee hut and brought me back a non-fat, sugar-free Snickers mocha - yummy! I opened hand-made cards from the kids, a gift card to the spa from Allen, and Abby sewed me a pillow at school.

I love being a mom. I love my kids and my husband, and I feel truly blessed everyday. Wiping noses, changing diapers, washing clothes, cooking meals, sweeping, dusting, carpooling - all of it - is my dream come true. I always wanted to be a wife and a mom, and now I can't imagine being anything else.

mackey's visit

Here's a thought about friends ~ They are the ones who are still standing by you after the dust settles; after you pick yourself up off the ground, dust yourself off, and can finally see beyond the tears in your eyes. (Sunday Sermon Metaphor)

They are also the ones who jump into a 2 foot kiddie pool, fully clothed, with sunglasses on head and cell phone in pocket - without flinching - to save your 3 year old who has lost her footing. (Saturday Afternoon Event)

This weekend the Mackeys came to Medford, and what a great time we had! Friday night I met up with Muna for coffee and pie. Saturday consisted of Elmer's, climbing Table Rock, swimming (mentioned above), NoHo's, and Dairy Queen. Sunday we went to church, Red Robin, then biking and football at the park. All of this was done with extremely well behaved children and near perfect weather.

I miss my friends, all of my Bend friends, so very much. They not only say they "have my back," but have actually stood in the gap for me and my family. They are the kind of people who you want by your side, because they never ask "what's in it for me?" - they just love you and receive the love that you give to them. They are real ~ genuine ~ and I love them so much.

marissa

Marissa is getting so big, so fast. In many ways she still seems so little, but most of the time, I cannot believe that she is so grown up.

Being the second girl, and third child, she has received many hand-me-downs. But, this Easter, her daddy bought her her very own, brand new, big girl bike! She was so excited - though more about the lunch bag and water bottle attached to the front of it than the actual bike. She rides all around the neighborhood - just one of the many reminders of how big she is. On Easter, a neighbor girl came to the door to see if the kids could come out to play. Marissa told her "no" and that, "I got a new bike, but you can't come in and ride it. Sorry." She said this with a shrug of her shoulders, then a closing of the door. It was rude, it was not nice, but I was so set aback by its bluntness and cuteness that I couldn't reprimand her for her behavior...I just don't think it would have seemed genuine through my laughter.

She loves to dance in the kitchen - but, her mood has to be just right. She will do ballet - this consists of standing with one foot atop the other while losing her balance and catching herself on the refrigerator. She will also "riverdance" when her Grammi makes music for her. This looks a little like tap dancing with a frog in her pants. She also loves to spin in circles, but it makes her "busy."

When she wants to stay up late, she's a big girl. But when she wants to drink from a sippy cup, she is a little girl. I am constantly amazed by her ability to work the system in such a casual and unassuming way.

She is good at getting her way, especially with her Poppi. I often find them watching Wow, Wow, Wubzy or Blues Clues together. Once, she asked to watch her shows and he said "no." After a few minutes of sitting in his lap watching CSI, she turned to him with her hands over her ears and a scowl on her face...he changed it to Max & Ruby.

She is great, I cannot imagine life without her. I hope everyday she knows how much I love her and cherish her, and how much I love being her Mom.

whelmed

Today Allen told me he was feeling "whelmed." I thought, wow, he is so overwhelmed that he doesn't even have the energy to make complete words...

Basically, he told me that he was not overwhelmed, just whelmed. Lots of stuff on his plate, but nothing that he couldn't handle...whelmed.

Hmmm...I think I like that Allen-ism. I will use it myself in the future.

air 1 revolution

I recently started listening to a Christian radio station, Air 1. It has been great. Not only have I enjoyed the music, but the commentaries and testimonies have been inspiring. This week they started their annual pledge campaign. Since they don't play commercials they rely on donations to keep the station funded. They said that only 3% of Air 1 listeners support the station with financial funding - interesting I thought. Then, they likened it to 100 people being in a room, with 1 person about to commit suicide. They said that they would hope that 100 out of 100 people would do something to stop that life from being taken...well, yeah...but, even though their station saves lives all the time (75 already confirmed this year), financially speaking, only 3 people have stood up - wow.

Allen and I both felt lead to donate to this ministry. So, I went online to sign up for our monthly donation. There was a spot where we could leave a little comment if we chose. Never being one with a lack of words, I did leave a comment...

Air1 hasn't changed my life...but it does make me feel good! And, if there were 100 people in a room and someone wanted to end their life (from earlier broadcast reference) I absolutely would do something to stop it. More than that...what if that person was one of my children? or my husband? or my best friend? I want them to hear the good news and have the opportunity for this radio station to change their life.
I love God with all my heart. And it makes my heart smile when I hear all the good that one radio station can do in the lives of the least of us.
Continue your great work.
"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." -Galatians 6:9

It felt good to contribute. It felt right, and important. Later that afternoon when I was out driving around, I was listening to Air 1, and they were thanking people on air for their contribution. "Sarah in Boston gave $35 a month, Bill in Vegas gave a one time gift of $250, Joah from Oregon made a $32 per month pledge and she says..." Yeah! They read my message...all of it! AND, they said my name right! What are the chances? Well, they were reading a lot of testimonies and airing phone calls too...but hello-my name, they said it right! Wahoo!

In all seriousness, after I heard that, I started to cry in my car in the parking lot of the Dollar Store. It is important to believe in the causes you support, and I believe in the message of God and His amazing grace! I may have never had a life changing moment because of Air 1, but I might some day. But more importantly is that SOME PEOPLE HAVE. God's grace and love is for EVERYONE, and if I can in some small way, with my $32 per month, help spread that message, then I am IN!

pear blossom

"Yay" for Pear Blossom weekend in the Rogue Valley...

Gage had a sleepover planned for Friday night, so after we dropped him off, the girls and I headed downtown to find Allen, who was working at the MetLife booth at the Pear Blossom festival. Marissa was the first to spot him-I actually didn't believer her when she said, "I see Daddy!" But, after I crouched to her level, it was clear that she had a great view of him through the trees and people!

We ate elephant ears and then headed out to locate the giant inflatable dragon for the girls to bounce on. Abby heard music coming from across the street and announced, "The dragon must be that way...because where there is big music, there is big fun!"

Saturday, Gage went to the parade with his sleepover crew-which was such a blessing since I woke up with an earache and didn't want to get out of bed. Eventually though, our day got moving. We dropped Abby off at a birthday party, and headed back downtown to meet up with Allen. Our mission was to find my friend's booth who was selling waffles and her own syrup. Mission accomplished! We found her, the booth, the waffles, and the syrup...delicious!

"Yay" for being back in town during this annual celebration! "Yay" for Pear Blossom weekend in the Rogue Valley!

easter cookies and heaven

Today, the kids and I baked Easter cookies. Not wanting the true meaning of Easter to be lost in the hullabaloo of bunnies, eggs, and sprinkles-which, on a side note, is what happened this Christmas. Once the holiday was over I realized that I let the whole season go by without having the main focus be on Jesus. I guess that's one of the by-products of living back at my parents house. Growing up, all of our holidays were very commercialized. We weren't a Christian household and we didn't talk about the birth of Jesus, or His death and resurrection either. Even now, I have to make a conscious effort to un-paganize my holidays because of the traditions I was raised with, and still cherish.

So today, during the shaking of sprinkles on to the doughy bunnies and eggs, I took the opportunity to talk to the kids about Jesus dying on the cross, being buried in a tomb, and rising on the third day. Abby seemed to know all about it already-I guess all that churchin' and Sunday schoolin' is working out. Gage was a little surprised and excited because he thought Easter meant we were going to “see” Jesus.

So, after I re-explained Easter to him, we segued into the second-coming discussion. I told him that Jesus is in fact coming back, but that we don’t know when (but probably not this Easter). Next we were discussing heaven... I entertained their every thought. Marissa thinks God will like her ballet. Gage wants to takes naps on clouds and ride a gold motorcycle on the gold street. And Abby says she will be happy when she gets to heaven because "God will be in charge of her instead of Mom"...but ultimately I had to let the kids know that we really don’t know exactly what heaven will be like, but that it will be great.

Later that evening I overheard Gage (age 5) talking to my dad. “Poppi, when you die, I want you to make sure you take your cell phone to heaven with you- that way I can call you up and find out what it’s like.”

rachel's busy day

Today the baby...



walked backwards and thought she was the funniest kid ever.
lifted her leg to put her pants on while I was getting her dressed.
lifted the same leg for the other pant hole while I was getting her dressed.
stumbled through my legs and giggled with absolute delight.
took the filter out of Poppi's oxygen machine.
ran away from Poppi when he tried to get the filter.
crawled up on the footstool.
ran around on the footstool.
fell off the footstool.
climbed on the footstool again.
found herself barricaded out of Poppi's room by the love seat so she could not climb on the footstool anymore.
took the filter out of Poppi's machine again.
pulled on Grammi's tablecloth.
got told "NO" very loudly. It made her jump.
pulled on Grammi's tablecloth while shaking her head no.
got her hand slapped for the first time ever.
ran to the corner and fake cried (not the first time).
walked backwards some more.
pointed at the refrigerator when she wanted milk.
climbed on Poppi's oxygen machine when she discovered the filter had not been replaced.
took a toy truck from Marissa.
ran down the hall to get away from Marissa.
threw the truck when Marissa caught her.

made me work VERY hard.
made my heart smile.
filled me with joy.

this blog

So here's the deal...I've been blogging thus far, only when I can sit down, gather my thoughts, and really put time and effort into my writing. I've got a few blogs written now that had the words carefully chosen, thoughts in a row (at least in my world), and pictures to match.

Sometimes I do not blog because I don't have time to do it "right," so I just don't do it at all. Or, I want to come across witty or funny to me readers (all 2 of you)-so if my topic doesn't seem read worthy, I don't write.

Last night, I was making some notes in a saved file on my computer desktop. It's a file that I jot down funny things my kids say that I don't want to forget. As I was entering something, I thought to myself, "wouldn't it be great if I could keep these things in a diary that I could go back and read"...hmmmm...sounds a lot like a blog if you ask me!

So I've decided to turn this blog into more of a personal online journal. That way all my thoughts are here for me to look back on whenever the mood strikes me. And, I won't lose it (hopefully), or throw it out when I do a purge of documents and clutter. It's great, unless you read this, then you might get bored...but, I think I will be happier about it when I look back and see each day how I was feeling or what was happening!

So, just so you know, that's where this blog is headed...for now-until the next time I change my mind about its purpose!

the grandpa formerly known as Granddad

This Saturday, I took my mom and four kids to my granddad's house in the woods for the "the burn." Apparently, this is an annual tradition. One that I have somehow been overlooked on the guest list, or have not made it a priority in the past...I say that because for all the build-up to this event, and it's seeming importance to the family, I have never been.

I went because now that I am living back in the valley, I really want to make sure I embrace all the family I have all around me. My dear, dear granddad will turn 80 this year, and he has Alzheimer's. He is so great, and while I don't spend as much time with him as I used to, I have nothing but great memories of him.


When I was little, I remember spending days and nights at his and Nana's house. He was always sitting in the same chair at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, watching the Seahawks on the television. When my brother was little, he and Granddad would share coffee and tease each other. Granddad would call Corby "Bud" and after many efforts to correct him, Corby one day yelled at him, "My name is not BUD, it's Corby James Bennett...POPS!" And so it began that our family would call the grandpa formerly known as Granddad, "Pops."


When Nana died, Pops was very sad. He spent lots of time at our house sitting at the kitchen table, staring out the window. He tried to keep busy by building cabinets for our laundry room and installing windows in the family room...but, he would always return to the kitchen table to drink coffee and stare out the kitchen window. Looking back, while I cherished that time with him so much, I can see that he was terribly heartbroken. Then time went by, stuff happened, and he married Carmen. The blending of families worked out well, since we were all family already. (Carmen is his nephews ex-wife. It's kind of weird, but not as weird as it seems. Our family tree more resembles a bush...but that's a whole other blog...)

So, back to the burn...we went to this family event. Not many people were there. But the one person I wanted to see most, my sweet granddad, was. I made sure to savor each moment with him-he may not remember me, but I will never forget him.

pirate day

Today, The Medford Neighborhood Church, was showing "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" a Veggie Tales Movie. Dressing up was encouraged, but not mandatory. Enough said. We LOVE to dress up, and any reason to put on make-up, is a reason for Abby to be on board.

It was also a great way to pass yet another day away from Daddy. He is in Texas visiting his family and we miss him so much. This is day 4, just 4 more to go!

random things

Here are 25 random things about me...

1. I never stop to ask for directions. And, when Allen wants to, I try to convince him we can find our way ourselves.
2. I have never broken a bone, but knocked out 4 teeth in a karting accident when I was 7.
3. I used to race go-karts, and raced with Kevin Harvick in the 1985 Grand Nationals. (That will only make you raise your eyebrows with interest if you follow NASCAR at all.)
4. I do not have a favorite color. The only color I really do not care for is purple.
5. I watch more sports on television than my husband. I fall asleep listening to SportsCenter.
6. I was a math major in college. I quit college because I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom when I grew up.
7. I got married when I was 19.
8. I like oatmeal and eat it nearly everyday.
9. I don't like confrontation and I use comedy as a coping mechanism. Aaaawwwwkkkwaaard!
10. I am afraid of heights and salt water.
11. I am secretly happy when my skinny friends tell me they've gained a few pounds.
12. I do not like to try new foods.
13. I love bubble gum, and do not think it is as much fun to chew when you have to keep your mouth closed.
14. I do not watch scary movies. I do not like to be afraid.
15. All of my kids were planned...nearly to the day. (Is that too much information?)
16. I do not like to read, but once joined a book club just to make friends.
17. I love public speaking and secretly dream of speaking on the "Women of Faith" tour.
18. I would like to live on 10% of my income and give away 90%.
19. I think that the earth's temperature rise is cyclical and natural.
20. Hairspray is my favorite hair care product.
21. I can count all the boys I've ever kissed on one hand.
22. I'm an awful singer...but I love to sing and wish I could sing with a praise team. It also bugs me when the worship team at church does not smile...
23. I use to hate having red hair, now I like it...it gives me super powers.
24. I was wishy-washy politically in high school, and made fun of a classmate for being a republican. Years later, I looked him up on classmates.com to apologize for my ignorance.
25. I did not think this was hard at all, and had to edit my list a few times because I obviously like to talk about myself waaay too much!

inauguration day blues

The world does not see us as democrats or republicans, socialists or libertarians - but as Americans. We are a country with many religions and cultures, with different values and goals. We are a country of ideas and ideals, a country of dreams - where as parents, we not only tell our children they can be anything they want to be, but we believe it too. We are a country that is so diverse that we debate over the value of a human life, the sanctity of a marriage, and even the method of our salvation. Yet, we still live peacefully and civilly, because while we agree to disagree on many social and economic principles - we refuse to disagree on the principles of democracy.

With that being said, and today being inauguration day, I want to say that I am not so excited about our new president or the next four years. Being excited would mean abandoning my ideals of free trade, open markets, pro-life, low taxes, small government, 2nd amendment rights... But, I am not going to go on a long rant about all the things I do not like about Barrack Obama. I am not going to point out the flaws of his ideas or policies - not because I think they lack merit, but because I don't like when others do it to George W. Bush. So, while I am an American, and love being so, I am refraining from joining in the misplaced excitement of today's inauguration activities.

I don't like being on the losing team (does anyone?), and I'm sad that my "team" didn't win. So sure, I'm pouting and listening to Sean Hannity...but, I am an American and America is still great...

...I guess this is just one of those "agree to disagree" days...


On a side note...

Sure, there are things about the presidency of George W. Bush that I didn't agree with. Like, his leniency on our borders, or his abandonment of free market ideals these past months. But, I cannot deny the fact that because of his stand against terrorism, because he fought against tyranny and oppression, because he loves freedom and thinks it is a human-right and not just an American-right, that because of these things me and my family are safer than we were in 2001, and for that I am grateful.