love dare - journal entry day 3 & 4

Yesterday's dare: Contact your spouse and ask how they are doing, and if there is anything you can do for them.

Journal entry: Did this. Had to leave a message. Never got a call back from Allen. But, when he got home from work, he told me how much he appreciated that call. Easy peasy, lemon squeazy. Maybe I can be a better wife.

Today's dare: Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him to be uncomfortable or irritated with you.

Journal entry: I have not done this yet. Furthermore, I retract my previous statement about lemons and ease. Maybe being a better wife is overrated.

love dare - journal entry day 1 & 2

Why is it the nicer someone (or some book) tells me to be, the meaner I want to be? Ugh. Yesterday my Love Dare challenge was to do something kind for my mate. Really, that should be easy, right? Yeah, not so much - not when I feel like it is an assignment. Throughout the day, kind things would pop into my head, but then I had to convince myself to do them - not because I didn't want to be kind, but because, for some reason, as soon as I am told to do it, I want to do the exact opposite. Man, I have a long way to go. I love this paragraph from the book though. I meditated on it and thought about how true this is. Love is a choice, not a feeling.

"It is difficult to demonstrate love when you feel little to no motivation. But love in its truest sense is not based on feelings. Rather, love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness."

I was also dared to not say anything negative - for 2 whole days!! That was super hard! Apparently my mantra is to criticize, condemn, and complain when it comes to my husband. Poor guy. I am actually enjoying this dare - it is a challenge for me to think before I speak. I find myself biting my tongue, taking deep breaths, and walking away a lot more - but I am determined to make this dare a permanent fixture in my life. Now, I just need to figure out how to convey a "negative" issue in a positive way. Like, how do I ask Allen to not leave his wet swim trunks on my dry clothes without sounding negative? I guess I will just bear that burden for a while - maybe there will be a chapter on that later.

gage baptized

What started out as a good day, quickly escalated into a great day with the words, "Mommy, I'm ready to be baptized!"

Gage accepted Jesus into his heart a few months ago, but has been a little gun shy about getting baptized. He was afraid the baptismal would be broke, and he was afraid Pastor Bob would hold him under the water longer that he could hold his breath...

But earlier in this day, he conquered another of his fears - going down the slide into the pool. He decided not to let fear ruin is fun. He was scared - but he was brave and climbed the pool slide ladder, sat down, and took the plunge - despite his fear.

I think his great victory over fear gave him the courage to once again be brave and bold today. I asked him why he wanted to get baptized and he replied, "to get wet!" Okay - so we've overcome fear of the water. "And, I want to show everyone Jesus is in my heart!" Phew! Gage and I talked, and he totally gets that Jesus died on the cross for him. He understands the symbolism of going under the water representing death, and coming out of the water representing resurrection. He also gets that his God is big and there is nothing to be afraid of when he puts his trust in the Lord. I am so proud of my sweet little boy. He is filled with the Holy Spirit and his life shines for the Lord.

"Having been buried with Him in baptism and raised with Him through your faith in the power of God, who raised Him from the dead." ~Colossians 2:12

"If God is for us, who can be against us?" ~Romans 8:31

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." ~Philippians 4:13

Be brave. Have fun. Honor God.

love dare

Allen and I have been bickering more than usual lately. We are also getting ready to celebrate our 13th anniversary. I want our mini vacation to be enjoyable and without the tense emotions that have been frequent lately - so I have resolved to make a conscious effort to strengthen our friendship and marriage.

I bought The Love Dare today. If you are not familiar with this book/activity - it is a 40 day devotional/challenge/journal designed to help you understand and practice unconditional love. I love my husband dearly - he is my best friend and I cannot imagine my life without him - but there are times that I am less than lovely to him. The person that I proclaim to care the most about in all this world, is the person that I take for granted often, and neglect to show love to, often.

So, in an attempt to be a better wife - the wife that God has called me to be - I am setting off on this adventure eager and expectant. I know my God - He is big, He can do all things, He loves me unconditionally - and I know He can help transform my mind and heart to love my husband deeper and stronger.

Today's challenge was to not say anything negative to him all day. All day? I failed this challenge before I even got out of bed this morning. To be fair - I didn't read today's dare until this evening - but in the past 2 hours I have taken this challenge to heart and been purposeful in holding my tongue. At the end of this dare, I am suppose to reflect on the challenge and journal about it. (Actually, that is the order of events for each day's dare.) Some days I may journal online, other days I may keep my thoughts private - either way, it is my hope to share parts of this journey so that God will be glorified and honored through my marriage.

dollar movie

I took the kids to the movies today. It was almost fun...

Tinseltown offers kids movies throughout the summer for $1.00 admission. Score! I took all 4 of my kids to see Planet 51 today. I had never head of this movie before, so I looked it up online. It looked harmless enough, so we went. I still cant really tell you what it was about since I spent most of the movie hushing Rachel, pouring popcorn, digging Capri Suns out of my backpack, and opening Dum Dum's.

On the way to the movie theater, the kids and I discussed what behavior was and was not appropriate for this outing. Abby asked where we would be sitting and wondered if there would be a balcony. I told her I didn't know where we would sit, and I assured her there was no balcony. She asked again, "No, I mean what row are we in?" It dawned on me that she has spent more time at the Craterian Theater than at the movie theater and has only live stage performances as points of reference for what she was about to experience.

The Bigs were great. They sat still and were fully engaged in the movie. Rachel, on the other hand, was a handful. She was up, down, up, down, stuck, up, and down again in her chair. On one occasion, she slipped through my hand and ran down the aisle in front of a line of movie-goers. I hunched over and ran after her, barely catching her before she reached the other side. Hanging on to the squirmy baby with all my might, I crouched down again to make my way back to my seat without obstructing the view of too many people. Unfortunately, the WWF wrestling match that ensued between me and Rachel left her flip flop a casualty half way down the aisle, so I had to return for it. Sorry everyone for walking in front of you so many times.

Rachel's shining moment came at the end of the film. It was a quiet scene and two aliens kissed. Rachel happened to be watching the movie during this particular scene and said aloud, "Oooo, ya, ya!" Did I mention it was quiet? Luckily the theater was filled with other kids - and moms who can appreciate the nuances of a two year old - and amused laughing was their response.

It was a 3/4 successful outing. Abby, Gage, and Marissa were perfect and I thoroughly enjoyed sharing this experience with them. Rachel, on the other hand, was just a little too little for this trip to merit 100% success...like I said, it was almost fun...maybe next year...

church girl

I went to a wedding. There was dancing. There was 80's rap. Guests started breaking out their old school moves. The Running Man was being attempted along with a little Kid 'n Play. I had been absent from the dance floor up to this point, instead chasing my kids around the property and tending to their needs. But, c'mon, 80's rap? I have to get my dance on to that. So, I made sure my kids were under the watch of my mom, and headed to the dance floor (well, it was grass, but saying the "dance grass" doesn't really make sense).

I asked if anyone knew the Roger Rabbit, a gal said "oh yeah," and started dancing - not the Roger Rabbit, mind you. Not wanting to disappoint my absent husband who always represents for us on the 80's dance throw downs - I busted a move and knocked out my best Roger Rabbit rendition. Not an easy move to master - but I must have held my own because an impressed onlooker said, "Wow! That church girl got some crazy skills!"

Church girl?

That comment totally caught me off guard...not that it is offensive or untrue...but it seemed odd to me that of all the things that I could be called - "girl in yellow dress," "redhead," "frazzled mom," "girl who spilled meatballs down the front of her" - of all the adjectives or nicknames that could have been used to describe me, church girl was the phrase this guy - a person that I didn't know, had never talked to, had not even stood in the buffet line with - used to describe me.

As I pondered my new nickname, I was confused. Why did he call me church girl? I didn't know anyone at the wedding except my immediate family. Was it something I said? Was it my outfit? I came to the realization that nothing I said or did that evening would have been a huge tip-off to my theological affiliations. And, I concluded that this guy called me church girl for one of three possible reasons...

1. He was impressed with my mad dance skills, and "church girl" is a name he always uses to send out his sincerest appreciations when anyone busts out some old school choreography.
2. He was mad at me for getting jiggy with it and out-dancing his girlfriend - so he called me "church girl" to insult me and cause me to retreat from the dance grass.
3. Or - and this is the one I am choosing to believe - my life is finally reflecting my faith, if even just a little.

Maybe I am finally walking in the light; maybe people can tell there is something just a little different about me. Something like Jesus Christ? Yes. The more I thought about it, the more excited I got. I want to be a vessel used by God. I want my life to reflect the love of Jesus in my everyday experiences - even in my 80's dance throw downs. Have I arrived? By no means. But, if - even for just one night - the way I live my life causes people to think about God, then I will rejoice! I will crank the DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, I will dance the Roger Rabbit, and I will rejoice!

Dance on. Have fun. Honor God.

goodnight moon

So my lack of reading to my kids caught up to me tonight. As we were sitting out by the pool - drying off from a mid-summer night swim - Rachel looks up in the sky and asks, "What's dat?" Pointing to the sky, she repeats, "Mommy, what's dat?"

Busted. It's the moon. Seriously, isn't there a very popular children's book about the moon - that, if I were a good mommy, reading diligently to my kids - would have read to my sweet, innocent, naive Rachel by now?

Oh, it was so sweet though - her interest in the white thing in the sky. I told her God put it there - to which she asked, "Why?" We sat and talked about the moon until bedtime. As we headed inside to put on our pajamas, she waves to the sky and says, "Goodnight Moon." Yup. Came up with that on her own...she doesn't need no stinkin' book!

errands and playdates

Yesterday, I took the kids out to run some errands. God bless Target for having popcorn and soda at such a reasonable price. Seriously. With snacks in hand I was able to stock up on much needed sunscreen with very little whining and in quick fashion. In fact, we were so fast, the kids still had popcorn when we reached our second destination. The grocery store. I am not sure what I was thinking. I must have been having a very brave moment - for I took all 4 of my small children into Food 4 Less for some much needed meat, syrup, and coffee creamer. To my surprise and delight, they were great! What a huge blessing it was to me to get through some pretty mundane errands with such well behaved kids. Woot! Woot!

On the way home from our errands, the gas light came on. Since we had a car full of meat, and would have to out of our way to hit a gas station, I decided to forgo petroleum and made a mental note to myself to head directly to a gas station on my next outing in the van.

This morning we started the day out with a trip to the park. My mental note failed me. I totally forgot about needing gas. We were half way to the park when my gas light reminded me of my forgetfulness. Which, would not have been a huge deal, but I left my purse at home. (I mean who needs their purse at the park?) So, the kids and I said a little prayer and headed back home to pick up my purse. Every time we stopped Gage called from the back seat, "Are we just stopping, or did we run out of gas?" Thankfully, we made it home and to the gas station without incident - though we were exceptionally late to our park playdate with Des.

This afternoon we had friends over to swim. We had t-bone steaks for dinner. And this evening we went to Gage's t-ball game. When we got home the kids put on jammies and sat down for a movie, while Allen and I changed into swim attire and jumped in the pool. We sat outside, cool and comfortable, talking about the day and our plans for the rest of the week.

It has been a pretty "normal" couple of days around here. But, as I write them down, the emotions they invoke make me smile and rest with joy and contentment. Life is good. Summer is great. My life pretty much rocks. Thank you Jesus!

the bang contract

So I have this daughter that likes to argue with me...about anything...about everything. She has been asking me to cut some bangs for her. Why? I am not sure. I have been avoiding the topic as much as possible, but it keeps coming up. Did I also mention she is persistent? I have been reluctant to cut her hair for a number of reasons - but the main reason I have said no is because I do not want to argue with her. When they need to be trimmed, I don't want to have a word battle to get her to sit down; when she is tired of them and decides to grow them out, I don't want them hanging in her face, and I don't want the drama every morning that is inevitable as I try to convince her to let me pull them up; and I don't want to argue with her about spraying the crazy things down in the morning after they are plastered to the top of her head after a sweaty night of sleep.

But, she is eight, and is coming into her own style and has ideas about the way she wants to look and dress. So annoying. I finally decided to cut some bangs at her request - but at my request, we drew up a contract. It is the "Bang Contract," I drew it up and we both signed it, and it is my hope that this will keep our arguing at bay. I have high expectations of this written contract...I'll keep you posted on its success...or failure.

Abby: pre bangs

Abby: post bangs

great wedding expectations

My kids have never been to a wedding. We were suppose to travel as a family to Portland for my Cousin Shauna's wedding last weekend. Unfortunately, Allen had to work and it looked like our plans had to be canceled. Abby cried in hysterics when we told her, "But I've never been to a wedding...I was so looking forward to it...we got new dresses...I'm never going to see a wedding..." It turned out that my dad couldn't make it either, so my mom and I loaded up the kids and headed north for the wedding. It wasn't the original plan, but we called an audible, and Abby was so excited to be on the road, headed to her first ever wedding...

The anticipation of the event was almost too much for the kids to handle. They were anxious to get ready and get going. When we arrived at the wedding site, Abby and kept asking, "What does Cousin Shauna look like?" And I told them she would be the one in the fancy white dress. We sat up front, and my kids were on the edge of their seats, not knowing what to expect, but filled with excitement and anticipation. Did I mention my kids have never been to a wedding before? I only ask, because - quite honestly - I think they will be sadly disappointed at the next one they do attend...

At this wedding, the bridesmaids and groomsmen danced down the aisle, the bride did not walk down the aisle - but instead arrived by Corvette, my kids got to eat all the cake they wanted, drink all the soda they wanted, and dance the night away to any and every song they requested. (Though, the DJ did not have any Hannah Montana, much to Abby's disappointment.) We all danced to the Hokey Pokey, the Chicken Dance, and the Macarena. Abby liked the "Macadamia" so well, she requested it again, and the DJ just couldn't tell her no. Gage ate three pieces of cake and drank four sodas. Marissa ate about 25 Dum-Dums, and Rachel danced with everyone who looked her way. It was like Disneyland - or at least what my kids imagine Disneyland would be like. (They've never been there either.)

For all the build up, drama, and effort involved in getting to this wedding, I am happy it did not disappoint. I am glad my kids had a great time and it was a blessing to me that they were so well behaved. I just feel for the next bride and groom's nuptial day that the Whitt kids are invited to...for their great wedding expectations were not only met, but exceeded.

Bride arriving by Corvette

Gage and his soda. Sissy and her flowers.

Cousin Shauna and the cutest kids EVER.

Abby taking a break in the shade.

Rachel knew how to work the crowd.

Gage is dancing on Abby's feet.

third book review

I just finished book number three of this summer. I know, it's so out of character, I can hardly believe it myself. I think I might be getting the hang of this reading thing though...sneaking in a few minutes while dinner cooks, or taking a huge chunk out on an evening that Allen is away. I have even managed to get a few chapters read while the kids swim - though today I was startled from my page by Marissa yelling, "Momma! Ray-Ray is in the pool without her arm floaties!" Thankfully she was just sitting on the steps - and had she fallen in, I was just an arm length from her rescue - but its probably not in the cards for me to be partaking in any more poolside reading.

At the suggestion of at least five, unrelated, dissociated, not mutual friends, I read Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. I borrowed it from my friend, Des. She said it was the best book she has ever read - and was excited to lend it to me. She talked it up like crazy, and gave some ominous qualifiers for it too. The forward was a letter from the editor that also suggested there would be some disturbing imagery...

...I don't know if I am just hard hearted, or immune to media expressions, or what, but I was not offended, nor did I find the writers details explicit - well, certainly not to the point of necessitating a warning.

It took me just a week to read this novel based on the Old Testament book of Hosea. I recently studied Hosea in CBS, so it was great to think about it a little more through a fictional tale that boasted many of the same biblical truths - God's redeeming love, continual forgiveness, and amazing grace.

Des checked in with me almost daily to see how the reading was coming along. I could tell she was surprised one day when I answered that it was starting to drag a little. I felt bad to say anything negative about this piece of literature that she is so endeared to - but it is like this...

...you know how when you are watching a movie - and it is good - but it would be a whole lot better if they cut out just a few minutes here, and a few minutes there, and it went from being 2 hours and 15 minutes long to just an hour and 45 minutes? That's kind of how I felt about this book.

It was certainly good, but if it somehow could have been cut from 464 pages down to 385, it would have graduated from a "good book" to a "great book" on my stocked shelf of finished reads. Oh man, that was dripping with sarcasm...the stocked shelf part, not the good/great book part.

Though I give a little criticism regarding the delivery, I would never deny the impact of the story or the truth of the message represented in Redeeming Love. I certainly would, will, and already have, recommend it to others - even trying to convince my husband to gander it. That was good for a laugh. It is definitely a book that I will remember, and it helped solidify the biblical Hosea's message and meaning in my heart.

As I have completed another work of literature, I am refreshed and kinda excited to pick up another - weird, I know. I do not know if this new found reading fetish will turn into anything more than a summer fling, but I am riding the wave of desire while it lasts. So, if you have any suggestions, I would be happy to entertain them - and I promise to pay attention to my kids while they swim.

cheetahs are fast, so is gage

Gage tells me, "Cheetahs are so fast, not even I can beat them in a race." Which, if you know my son, means Gage thinks very highly of the running abilities of cheetahs. We decided to put his running prowess to work and took him to a few parks and rec sponsored track meets last month. He told everyone he was going to run a marathon and trained for it by running to the end of the block and back a couple times. He actually got to run 50, 150, and 400 yard races. He did great and had a fun time collecting participation ribbons for each event.

Warming up his legs.

Game face.