confession

I have a confession. Please don't judge me. This week as I was working on my bible study, I began to have a very nonspiritual thought. I was studying chapter 4 in Revelation, and as I read about, and meditated on, the 4 creatures and the 24 elders giving glory and honor and thanks to God day and night - never ceasing - I began to think (now remember, this is where you are to hold your judgment from me)...how very narcissistic of God to create humanity and spiritual beings to worship Him for all eternity.

I know. How could I think such a thing? Truly, I don't know - it just popped into my head and I couldn't shake it. I wanted to shake it - I knew it wasn't true. I asked God to take it from me, to cleanse my heart and forgive me for thinking such an awful thought about Him and His motives. But still, it lingered.

The more I thought about it - and tried to forget about it - the more it ate at me. I believe that we are created on purpose, for a purpose, each of us having a shared purpose of honoring God. In my finite thinking this week though, I began thinking God created us to honor Him - which of course, led me to irrational thoughts of self promotion and narcissism by God. (Yes, I am rolling my eyes at myself right now.) So, if I wasn't created to honor God, then why was I created? 

Admittedly, I struggled with that question for a couple days. Through Godly friends, and biblical truth I found the answer at the end of the 4th chapter of Revelation (Sort of ironic, really. Maybe that will teach me to finish my bible study before I head out to play.)...

...for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.(Rev 4:11b KJV)

I was created - we were all created - because God delights in us. We please Him. I was created to be.

Wow. As I write this I am welling up with tears. God is delighted with me and my purpose is to be. Of course I give Him honor and glory and thanks - but not because I have to and not because He created me to. I do it because He is God. Creator of the universe - creator of me. I do it because every fiber of my being leads me to do so - for the same reasons the 4 creatures and 24 elders in Revelation 4 do it - because we know who God is and we know what He has done.

I find myself amused as I look at the definition of narcissism. The condition I so flippantly used to describe God could not be further from His true character. For God to be a narcissist would imply that He is self-centered, vain, and has excessive self-love. He is none of these things - in fact, He is the antithesis of these things...what is the antonym for narcissism?...

...so I checked, and while they are not all appropriate adjectives to depict God and His character, some of the more appropriate antonym-ic adjectives to describe God would be altruistic, selfless, kind, and agape. Even better are sovereign, righteous, holy, and all mighty. Oh man, I am so lame. Narcissist, Joah? Really? 


Dearest Heavenly Father~

Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. (Rev 4:11)

~Amen.