The things on my plate are things I have put there, on purpose, by choice - ministry opportunities, child activities, playdates, and writing. But, I am beginning to wonder what needs to go, because there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day, I am starting to stress out, and I really, really miss my down time.
I am struggling right now identifying the ministry God is calling me to. I want to serve Him in any and every way that I can - yet I know that it will only be pleasing to Him if I am serving according to His will. Clearly my family is a ministry that God has entrusted to me and called me to. But am I one of the servants that He has also called to serve beyond my home, and comfort, and convenience??
Here's what's up...I feel very called to serve in various ministries - so much so that knots form in my heart, I feel burdened by the thought of not participating, heaviness is lifted when I am in the motion of serving - but being a part of these ministries is affecting my "at-home" work. I don't have as much time to sit with my kids and play, I miss school events and extra curricular activities, the laundry is piling up, and my husband is picking up the slack where I am lagging.
Mostly I am finding that I can't get into a rhythm. Every day I feel like I am behind. I make lists, prioritize, and organize, but still I am lacking. What needs to go so I can breathe? I want to have my down time back, I want to stay home, I want to bake - but what am I called to do?
Two things that I do know.
- I need to pray about this.
- I cannot do any of these things in my own power.
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