the new normal

While I enjoy my weekly bible study class and the women in it, I have to admit that sometimes it requires more self-reflection than I am willing to give. This morning is a perfect case-in-point. It was a brunch morning - which I thoroughly enjoy because of the large food spread - and we get to share on a more personal level through a discussion question. I like to talk, and I like to talk about myself. How did you get your name? was a fun discussion topic, as was Tell about your childhood pet. This morning's topic was not as fun as it required too much confessing...

In what areas of your life are you now waiting on God to work? What is your attitude as you are in this position? Are you victorious, cheerful, resting, expectant, restless, impatient, depressed, angry, or filling this time with superficial things, etc?

Ugh! So many things in my life I feel like I am waiting on the Lord to work. I shared that I am currently waiting on the economy to recover - meaning our family is in a holding pattern until Allen is able to secure a job that can provide for us and is stable with some security. Someone else shared that they are waiting for their life to get back to normal - and that is exactly how I feel. We moved into my parents house under the premise that we would be staying for just a short time - three months max. We didn't fully unpack since we would be ready to pack up and leave just a short time later. Nearly two years later, we are still living out of boxes - figuratively and literally. Not just the physical boxes that hold our stuff, but the idea that fully unpacking would mean accepting that this is our new normal. I cannot count how many times Allen or I have started a sentence or conversation with, "When life gets back to normal..."

So how do I handle this? I'd like to say I wait patiently on the Lord - but the truth is I run the gamut on emotions. Some days I am cheerful and thankful - for I do not have a lot of stress. Our bills are paid, I don't have to clean the house or take care of the lawn (since Mom and Dad kept the housekeeper and yard maintenance guy), my kids are healthy and enjoy spending time with their grandparents, Allen and I are maritally sound, and there is a roof over our head. Other days, I am impatient, restless, expectant, sad, worried, and depressed. Still, other days I take the high road and focus my thoughts to the wonderful plan that God has in store for us, for the lessons I am learning, and for the wonderful testimony this season in my life will give me. It is hard to balance the commands of what I am supposed to do and feel as a Christian, and the feelings and emotions I have as a human living in the flesh of this world.

I want to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord. I want to live my life as a testimony to Him. I know that He is with me. I know that He has a plan for me. This is a season in my life that will pass...just like every other season in the past. Keeping my eyes focused on Him and living my life to glorify Him helps me get through the times of waiting. If I concentrate on serving Him, then I don't have to wait for anything - that is something I can do anytime, anywhere - and life can happen around me. Over and over I study in the bible - Love God, and Love people. If I concentrate my thoughts on those two principles, then I can wait in patient expectation that God will use me to glorify Him.