Last night, Allen and I busted out the pen a paper, and started making lists. Pros and cons of staying in the mortgage field, going back to school, moving to Bend, San Antonio, or Portland, or remaining in Medford.
Everything seems very confusing. There are definitely pros and cons to all of the above...it's just trying to decipher which are the most important, and why. I want to make an educated, non-emotional, Godly decision - but nothing seems clear. I don't feel like we are getting clear direction from God as to the path we should take, which leads me to believe that we are suppose to be patiently waiting. For what, I do not know.
I am feeling a little edgy and anxious, because I am a planner. And, with no clear plan to follow, I feel out of control and short of breath. I am trying to breathe deep and rest in the knowledge that He is God - He holds my future, so nothing else matters - but I am experiencing increased pressure to make some important decisions.
I must resolve to take each day, and the choices presented in it, one at a time. I think that's all I can commit to without needing admittance to the crazy house.
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