walk with God

I went on a walk today. I purposely left my ipod at home because I wanted to spend some time with God - not in prayer, but in silence.

It is hard to have quiet time with God. I was fully distracted by the beauty of the day. It was a perfectly sunny day, no wind, perfect temperature...there were kids playing, sprinklers spraying, birds chirping...I saw the mail man, a cable guy, and dogs in all sizes...it was fabulous and I was completely caught up in the day. When I was able to focus on God and my intended purpose for my outing, I was distracted by my own thoughts...what should I make for dinner?...be quiet...whoa, they need to mow their lawn...quiet time with God, quiet time with God...I wonder what the weather will be like this weekend...ugh! focus Joah, be quiet so you can hear God...and on and on it goes.

Today wasn't an enigma...this is how my quiet time with God usually goes. I attempt be quiet, but it seems like the harder I try to be silent, the louder my own thoughts become. Still, while I am not able achieve the stillness of my spirit I would like, my ultimate goal is accomplished - time with God. Even though I get in my own way, God always meets me right where I am.

So my walk today took about a half an hour. For 30 minutes I wrestled with myself to quiet my thoughts and listen for God. It never really happened - not in the way I would expect, at least. Though, 2 blocks from home, the floodgates opened and tears filled my eyes. I am still not sure what that was all about.